Category: Health and Wellness
I thought of posting this inquiry to the Addicts Enonimous Graffiti category, but then I thought, well, I think this fits in here, not to mention you don't necessarily have to be an alcoholic to answer my question. But anyway, here it goes:
I've heard so many different people label people an alcoholic, from those of us like myself who enjoy a few drinks every once in awhile, to those who hardly know what it's like to be sober anymore. so, where do you draw the line? I think we can all agree that a person becomes an alcoholic when having a drink changes from an enjoyment to a necessity. But, how do you define that?
OK. I'll admit that over the holiday season, I drank more alcohol during a month than I usually do in three or four months, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. To those of us who had a little too much fun over the holidays, do you think it would be fair for someone to call you an alcoholic and demand that you seek therapy, and tell you you have a drinking problem? wouldn't you think that would be judging someone and jumping to conclusions a little too early? I certainly think so.
On the flip side, I get a little bothered when someone announces, "I need a drink". the more urgently they sound when making this statement, the more it worries me. I'm not really talking about people who blurt this out ocasionally after a particularly god awful day at work, but rather the people who seem to say this quite frequently, sometimes every weekend, or even every day. However, there are people who insist that these people are not alcoholics because they don't drink every day, or, because they never drink before 6:00 in the evening. Are those contributing factors? does it really matter when someone chooses to satisfy their cravings? would you insist that a smoker isn't addicted to nicotine because they only smoke five cigarettes after 4:00 in the afternoon? Maybe some of you would, but most likely not.
Now, as is the case with all subjects like this, there are a few obvious black and white points. I think it's pretty safe to say that if someone has polished off a bottle of liquor by mid morning, and another one by dinnertime, and this happens every day, or nearly every day, they're most likely addicted. and, if someone never has more than one drink per day, and they can easily go without it, they're probably not an alcoholic. But those middle shades of grey always seem to spark some conversation.
Let's sum up this post with two major questions:
1. At what point does someone's drinking become a problem?
and,
2. do we, as people who are not living inside their heads, have the right to make this determination?
You touched on something that really really really bugs me about modern pop culture, and prudish so-called temprance mentality.
Alcoholism and addiction should only be diagnosed by a proper diagnosing professional in my opinion.
People throw out 'oholic' to every single thing they don't like, gets them a little upset, or find offensive.
So the working man who is just getting by with too much month at the end of the money, who has to work endless hours on salary, is supposedly a workoholic with a psychological problem.
So, if Ms. X doesn't like video games and notices that someone happens to use video games as a way to unwind, and God forbid, they enjoy them, she can openly declare said person 'addicted' to video games, to the amazement and profound pseudo-respect of all her friends and acquaintances.
Somebody has a hobby you don't particularly like? Kill two birds with one stone: Call them an addict, get them excised from your social circle and come off as all pure and enlightened in the process.
These pipsqueaks need to learn that humans have done all sorts of things to unwind after stressful occasions for millennia untold. And a diagnosis of addiction, being made by professionals, is far different from making oneself look cool or pure or enlightened to one's social circle.
The most ridiculous one I've heard is the so-called addiction to oil. Dependence? Yes. Do we need alternatives? Certainly. But because people have to commute an hour to and from work in an infrastructure without adequate trains, are you going to then call them addicts?
One thing's for certain though: These prudes usually come from, or emulate, the privileged classes, and this is one more way for them to turn their noses up at the working population. Frankly, they make me sick.
Alcohol addiction is a real, physical, chemical problem. There are others like this, and medical doctors, a lot smarter than these pop culture pipsqueaks, are more than capable of making a proper diagnosis.
Same goes for real psychological problems real people do experience. But it all gets cheapened when the rich overfed cool kids start using the terms addict 'oholic' and 'obsession' ... over things their poor delicate selves just don't like.
It's another way to snub people, still use said people as part of the working masses, and reduce said people's ability to enjoy life in the process. It's not a corporate thing: it's an upper-class "We're-incompetent-so-we-have-to-make-ourselves-look-better" thing.
I used to work with a guy who many co-workers called a functional alcoholic. He would start out drinking every Friday after work and pretty much drink his way through the weekend. But during the work week he rarely had a drink and seemed to function fine. However, over the years I did start to notice some decline in mental capabilities, and he even forgot an important meeting or two, so I think even though he was not drinking every day, alcohol definitely was affecting him negatively.
So I guess what I'm saying is that there are different levels of alcoholism. I have gotten plastered on an occasion or two but lately haven't had a drink in more than a year. I would have been very offended if someone had called me analcoholic after one of my partying nights a few years ago. I do think we have to be careful when labeling people. Basically if drinking negatively affects your relationships, your ability to do your job, etc. then there probably is a problem.
that's another point I forgot to mention. If you go on a weekend binge, and then don't touch the stuff for six months, then what are you? I completely agree with Leo. people are very quick to label something as an addiction just because they, personally, don't agree with the behavior.
what ultimately prompted me to want to bring up this discussion was a book I was reading just a few days ago. the book was about relationships, but naturally the topic of addiction was brought up. the author of the book, who is also apparently a therapist, had a very black and white take on the subject. Enjoy 1 drink a day, or less, and you're OK. Enjoy a few drinks a day, or even just on weekends, and you are addicted and you need help.
I just have a hard time believing that I'm addicted because I like to have a couple glasses of wine on the weekends. You know why? because I don't *have* to have it, as I'm sure plenty of others who drink on weekends don't. I mean, if you're having a couple six packs every weekend night, or if you just cannot give up that routine for anything and you start to put it before loved ones, or other such things, then, yes, maybe you should be thinking seriously about getting some help. Notice I said maybe.
Notice that if we're talking about a socially accepted non-taboo behavior like exercise, there is no 'holic' for it.
It's because the cool kids, the useless pipsqueaks that come up with this stuff paid for by your tax dollars, find that behavior acceptable, and so will support it to whatever so-called obsession one wants. Too bad we don't have something better for them to do.
To me one is an alcoholic when it seriously begins to affect your life in a negative way, this goes for any addiction of any kind, shopaholics, etc.
I have a cousin who I personally consider an alcoholic for the following reasons.
1. She constantly comments on needing a drink.
2. It seems that every time she wants to come visit herdad she uses the visit as an excuse to drop her kid off and go drinking and getting drunk over the weekend, and it seems to be a weekly occurance.
3. This one is big for me, she often overdrafts her account not only on her weekend hangouts with her friends drinking, but also on other things, new clothes, tanning, etc, and all that money she is spending, mostly on the drinking it seems like, is from her dad who is working to the bone so she can have what she wants.
4. To me it seems like she can't wait to drop off her kid someplace, daycare, with dad, with baby's daddy, with boyfriend, whatever, to go out and get her drink on.
Believe me, every weekend she comes around here it is with the excuse to see her dad, but she just wants to drop the kid off and goes off drinking.
I get haniging with friends, but when it becomes an impact finanically, with money that you really need to keep for bills, then it is a problem. Her dad bails her out, paying rent, or bills or overdraft fees, but it is sucking him dry too, he couldn't support himself without my mom's help, actually.
I agree that only a professional can diagnose, but when it becomes a big enough problem to make life difficult because you can't focus because you are sloshed all the time, or whatever, then that to me is a clear sign something is wrong.
@Blindbat Yours is completely warranted. But again, here you are describing a real problem, real kids being affected, real parents being affected, etc. This is far from the type of thing I was referring to. You're talking with a level head, something the fashionable types rarely do. And if you wait for them to do so, you'll be waiting all day.
Well thanks for that, honestly. It is a real problem and we can't really do anything, mom or I, because they are just cousins. Her dad is my second cousin, so mom's first, and the rest of his family, his brothers and sister know, but don't do anything.
I honestly don't think an intervention would work because the problem stems from how she was raised. Dad gave her everything growing up, ne questions asked all because he felt bad that her mom left when she was younger, in turn she has become, in my opinion, a spoiled monster with no idea of value or no care that her actions are draining her dad dry. in the same he won't take responsibility for what he's created, because it really all stems to that.
She had her license taken for underage drinking, but apparently it never sunk in.
There are others with problems that are far more complicated than this too, and it takes a bit of digging to find the source and someone to act to make a change, otherwise it is the same destructive cycle that destroys not only the life of the addicted, but the ones around them too.
I understand not judging someone just by one action or set of actions, because no one can know the extent or situation of a person. The only reason I know so much about my cousin is that my mom lives with her dad right now, which is why he is able to manage, though poorly right now.
Others make these off the wall remarks to people without even understaning or knowing the person, it has happened to me before and it isn't cool.
But that fringes on another topic entirely, so nuff said here.
Interventions will almost never work unless the person in question is ready to make a change, understands that it won't be easy, but is willing to do whatever it takes to get there. And the problem with most addicts is that they honestly don't seem to think they have a problem, and don't understand why people are getting on their case for it. then, and this is probably the saddest of all, there are the addicts who know they have a problem, but think they and/or their lives aren't worth improving, so why bother trying to change?
then, of course, there are the people who aren't actually physically addicted, but they're addicted to the mental rush that comes with partying. these are probably the easiest people to help, because at least they don't have to go through physical withdrawal, but they tend to be misjudged by many as having a physical addiction, and are steered in that direction in terms of getting help. As a result, the person often ends up partying even harder to rebel against the people who are trying to get them the wrong kind of help.
I'm surprised we haven't seen any new Carrie Nations campaigning against all these perceived addictions.